The Art of Getting By
by violetkisses
Summary: He told me he loved me. He told me he needed me. He told me he would never leave me. He promised me. He promised me forever. But I guess, as the saying goes, promises are made to be broken.
1. Prologue

A/N: Hey guys! Violet is here again with another story. GASPS. I know right? Well, let's just say, thank god for sembreaks.

Hope you guys enjoy this ;" This is just a prologue to my new story.

Warnings: OOC ZERO AND KANAME, Unbetaed

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**The Art of Getting By**

_"The heart was meant to be broken."_

_- Oscar Wilde_

_**Prologue**_

_"_Don't," I pleaded, my shaking hands desperately trying to hold on to his arm. It was raining and I was freezing cold. But I didn't care. All I cared about was the man before me; The man who promised me love, the man who promised me forever. "Don't leave me. You _can't_ leave me."

_He told me he loved me._

The desperation in my voice was pathetic but again, I didn't care. I didn't care how pathetic I looked under the rain, my clothes wet, tears marring my face. "Kaname. _Please._"

_He told me he needed me._

The said man just looked at me, his usually warm, brown eyes devoid of any emotion. "Let go."

_He told me he would never leave me._

"No," I tightened my grip. "You can't leave me. Please don't. I love you! I love you! _I love you!_ How many times do you want me to say it just for you to stay?" I asked, the desperation in my voice growing to heights I never thought was possible.

_He promised me._

But Kaname just looked at me, his eyes blank. No love, no pain, no disgust, no hatred, nothing. I shivered, not from the cold, but from the fact that I found nothing in those usually love-filled warm, brown eyes. I tightened my grip again, afraid that if I let go, Kaname would completely be out of my reach forever. "You can't leave. You promised me, Kaname. _I love you._"

_He promised me the moon, the stars, the sun. He promised me love. He promised me happiness. He promised me eternity._

Kaname loosened my grip on his arms. Again, he stared at me with those painfully cold eyes. I was prepared for him to lash out, to mutter curses, insults or maybe just ignore me and walk away. But nothing, _nothing_ could have ever prepared me for what he said next.

_He promised me forever._

"I don't love you anymore." And at that moment, I heard my heart break into tiny, irreparable pieces.

_But I guess, as the saying goes, promises are made to be broken._

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A/N: Okay, so what do you guys think? Should I continue? Feedbacks would be very nice ;)) Thanks a lot guys!

-Violetkisses


	2. Everything Hurts

A/N: Hello! So here is the first official chapter of The Art of Getting By! Zero is totally pathetic here. I'm so sorry. Don't hate me please. I'm just making him suffer to develop his character for the next chapters. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. And to all those who reviewed? Thank you very much! I replied to each of your reviews :" Tee-hee.

Warnings: Totally OOC Zero, Lots of crying from Zero, lots of angst, UNBETAED (as usual)

Without further ado, here goes.

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**The Art of Getting By**

**Chapter 1 - Everything Hurts**

**-xoxo-**

_"I don't know why they call it heartbreak._

_ It feels like every other part of my body is broken too."_

_- Missy Altijd_

**-xoxo-**_  
_

Zero watched as Kaname walked away from him, the pureblood's figure blurred by the tears that clouded the hunter's lilac orbs. Zero watched with a heavy heart as the man he loved walked away from him, walking away from _them, _walking away from the tandem everyone knew as 'Kaname and Zero'. Every step broke Zero's heart, every step killed him in ways unimaginable. He wanted to scream, he wanted to shout. But sadly, he found himself unable to because whenever he opened his mouth, nothing but a pathetic sob would come out. And by the time he was finally able to scream, by the time he was finally able to shout, Kaname was already gone. He was already long, long gone.

Zero didn't know how long he stood there. He didn't know how long he stood under the rain, his eyes still glued to the path the pureblood took as if it would somehow bring Kaname back, as if it would somehow erase the words Kaname told him before he left.

"_I don't love you anymore."_

Zero closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to forget. He felt something slice his heart as he recalled those five words. It seemed to mock him. And as it continued to replay inside his mind, Zero could feel his heart splitting into two. He clutched his chest as a painful sob escaped his lips. The pain was too much. It was just too much. It was like his heart was being stabbed repeatedly, torturing him and prolonging his agony with every breath he took.

Why must he suffer like this? Hasn't he been through enough? Hasn't he already suffered enough? Zero glared at the gloomy skies above, uncaring of the sting in his eyes as rain droplets entered them. He can still remember his childhood. He can still remember the times when he and his mom would just sit in the garden and look at the heavens above. "Somewhere above, there is God, Zero." His mother would always say. "And that God will always protect us. _Always._"

Zero wanted to curse the heavens.

"Why?" Zero screamed into the rain, all his pain, all his anger, all his pent-up frustration packaged in that single question. If there really was a God, then where was he when his parents were brutally murdered? If there really was a God, where was he when Kaname left him? If there really was a God, then why must he suffer so much? If there really was a God, then why?

"Zero," the hunter looked at the blonde before him numbly. He can clearly see the worry etched on the noble's features but he didn't really care. It was selfish of him but Zero found himself in too much pain to really care. Zero wanted to laugh at Aidou's pathetic attempt to shield him from the rain but again, Zero found himself in too much pain to laugh. Finally giving up, Zero watched as Aidou grabbed him by the arm and dragged him under the shade of a tree. It wasn't enough to completely shield them from the angry droplets but it would have to do. It would have to do until Zero was ready to leave the place where his heart died.

Zero bit his lip as he continued to watch Aidou fuss over him, drying him with a handkerchief here and there. "You shouldn't have stayed under the rain," he said in an accusing tone. "What if you get sick?"

"He left me." Zero vaguely heard himself say. He watched the man before him flinch before he continued. "He told he didn't love me anymore." The silver-haired hunter let out a pathetic laugh, tears still falling from his eyes. "Can you believe it, Aidou? After everything we've been through..after everything..he tells me he doesn't love me anymore. Am I…" Zero's voice cracked as he looked at Aidou's sad, blue eyes. "Am I really that hard to love?"

"You're not." Aidou whispered. Zero closed his eyes as he felt himself being gathered into the noble's warm arms. He welcomed the soothing warmth as Aidou rocked both of them back and forth, back and forth, the blonde's fingers drawing circles on Zero's back in an attempt to calm the hunter down. "_You're not_."

And Zero could do nothing but cry. Because really, if he wasn't that hard to love, then why would Kaname leave him?

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_Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat._

Zero watched the rain droplets dramatically fall to the ground. He watched as every drop shattered whenever it hit the smooth surface of the earth. He found it oddly comforting. Destruction…who would have thought it could be so beautiful? Zero shifted his attention to the sweater in his hands. He hugged it close to him, inhaling the beautiful and familiar scent of Kaname.

Only a week had passed since that fateful night but to Zero, it felt like a month, a month of nothing but pain, pain, _pain_. Every part of his body screamed, every part of his body hurt. His joints were stiff, his back ached, his head hurt, his stomach churned but nothing, _nothing_ could ever compare to the pain deep inside his heart. His heart felt like it was being crumpled, torn apart, beaten, sliced into pieces and stomped on. It was painful.

_It hurt so fucking much. _

Zero closed his eyes, his brows scrunched as if he was in excruciating pain. He hugged the sweater in his arms tighter, tighter and _tighter_ until it truly fucking hurt.

Zero would have laughed if only it wasn't such a task. Because oh, _oh_ the irony. He was a hunter. He was raised to hate vampires, especially _pureblood _vampires. He was raised to hurt them, to kill them, to eliminate them. But what did he do? He just had to break the first rule of being a hunter: Never fall in love with the enemy. And now, he was suffering the painful and earth shattering consequences. True, Kaname didn't hurt him physically. He didn't deliver kicks and blows and punches. He didn't strangle Zero to death nor did he stab Zero until the hunter died from blood loss.

No, what he did was _worse_; what he did was worse than torture, worse than death, worse than eternal damnation. Kaname Kuran broke his innocent, little heart. Bruises and wounds would eventually heal with time but heartbreak? It will never completely heal. True, time would make him forget. True, time would heal the wounds. But the scars….the scars of the love he and Kaname once shared will forever be etched in his heart, scarring and blemishing the once flawless heart of Zero Kiryuu.

Still clutching the sweater, Zero made his way to the vanity in his room. He slowly lifted his head and was greeted by the sight of a man looking at him in the mirror. Zero traced the image with his fingers. He couldn't recognize the man before him. Who was this man? Who was this sickly man before him? Tears welled up in Zero's eyes. What has happened to him? Why did he look so... so haunted? His once glowing skin now looked sallow under the light. There were bags under his eyes, proofs of the sleepless nights that assaulted him day after day. He looked thinner, too. His clothes now looked big on him. Where it used to accentuate his slim and fit figure, it now made him look like a malnourished teenage boy.

Zero shook his head, a sad smile playing on his lips. He wasn't even sure who he was anymore….

Who was that man in the mirror?

Who was….who was Zero Kiryuu?

Without Kaname…who was Zero Kiryuu?

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A/N: What you guys think? Likey or no likey? I really had a hard time writing this chapter. I wanted it to be really dramatic and full of angst. I wanted you guys to feel Zero's pain, to feel his heartache. So, did I succeed? I do hope so. Thank you for taking the time to read this :)

- violetkisses


	3. Tears

**A/N: **Please don't kill me! SNIFFS. So sorry for the freaking late update. Like seriously (scolds myself) there's no excuse. But ugh, school has been really busy. College is so stressful. Thank god it's summer and thank god I have no summer classes. Hallelujah! I know you guys have been waiting so here it is, chapter 2. DUN DUN DUN.

But wait, if you guys notice, my writing style has kind of changed. I'm trying this new technique that I read somewhere. Tell me something about it if you notice it pls. If it's yay or nay.

**Warnings: **ANGST, OOC, AAAAAAANGST

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**The Art of Getting By**

**Chapter 2 - Tears**

**-xoxo-**

_"Tears are the words the heart can't say."_

_- Unknown_

**-xoxo-**

Aidou looked at the sleeping form on the bed. He looked at the way Zero spooned himself against the pillow, desperately seeking for the warmth only a human body can give, desperately seeking for the man who broke his heart into pieces. The blonde clenched his fists. Years before, he would have rejoiced in seeing the hunter like this: broken, helpless, lifeless…dull. He would have rejoiced knowing that this man had been broken beyond repair. But now, as he looked at the still being on the bed, all he could feel was the painful clench in his chest.

Why?

When all Zero did was love, why did he have to suffer like this?

Aidou couldn't understand. He couldn't understand how Kaname could abandon Zero. He couldn't understand how Kaname could fall out of love with Zero.

Zero was gorgeous. He was selfless, he was brave, he was stubborn, he was thoughtful, he was kind, he was understanding, he was loving, he was loyal, he was faithful. To put it simply, Zero Kiryuu was _beautiful_.

So why? Why would Kaname throw away the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to him?

The noble stilled as Zero groaned, shifting restlessly against the sheets. His brows were scrunched as if he were reliving a nightmare and it made Aidou want to smooth them away, smooth all the pain, the sadness, the heartbreak away. He slowly sat on the bed. He lifted his hand towards Zero, his hesitating fingers brushing the sheen of sweat covering his forehead.

Lilac clashed with blue and Aidou silently gasped as his breath was blown away by the sheer intensity of the gaze.

_Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful._

"Kana..me?"

The blond shook his head, trying his best to hide the disappointment rolling off of him. "No, Zero. It's me, Aidou."

"Aidou…" Zero hummed.

"Are you hungry? Or thirsty maybe? I can get you water. No wait, what the hell am I thinking? I _should_ get you water. I'll just…" Aidou rambled. "Give me a minute." The noble was about to stand when his wrist was suddenly caught in the embrace of Zero's fingers.

"Don't go."

"But _water_."

"S'fine," Zero croaked. "Not thirsty."

Aidou nodded, "O-okay. If you're sure…Are you _sure?_"

Zero smiled softly and Aidou wanted to scold his heart for choosing that moment to pursue the glorious path of beating erratically. "What?"

Zero shook his head, "Nothing."

"No, seriously, what? You're smile is creeping me out here. _Big time_."

The hunter laughed, albeit hoarsely, and it was melody to Aidou's ears. "I just wanted to thank you for…taking care of me these past few weeks. I must have been a tough case, huh?"

Aidou grinned, "Nah. You should see Rima when she and Senri get into a fight. She's more of a bloody mess than you are."

"Really?"

"Yup. So, it's no problem, really. You were an _angel_." Aidou dramatically gushed, loving the way Zero's lips curved into a small smile.

Zero rolled his eyes and the noble couldn't help but want the moment to never end. He wanted to never see that small smile slip of the hunter's face, he wanted to never see that small amount of joy and happiness disappear from Zero's face, he wanted to never see the laughter die out of Zero's eyes but he knew it was never meant to be when he watched Zero make his way towards the vanity.

Now, he wanted to forget how the smile slid off hunter's face. Now, he wanted to forget how the small amount of joy and happiness disappeared from Zero's face. Now, he wanted to forget how the laughter died out of Zero's beautiful lilac eyes. It was all so unfair. How one moment Zero was smiling and how the next he was frowning. How one moment Zero was happy then the next he was aching. It was unfair how Zero was hurting, hurting, _hurting. _It was just so unfair.

_And it was all Kaname's fault._

Aidou watched Zero look at himself in the mirror. He watched Zero look at the aftermath of the storm Kaname's departure caused. He watched as Zero touched his own reflection, tracing every curve, every dip and every accent in his body. He kept tracing, tracing, _tracing_ as if it would magically map out every wound Kaname had opened, every scar Kaname had left. The path Zero's fingers took ended on the place where his reflection's heart was buried deep within. Aidou watched as Zero's reflection took shallow breaths, _inhale exhale, inhale exhale, inhale exhale._

"What's happened to me, Aidou?" Zero asked, his hands curling into fists. "Look at me! I'm..." _broken, _Aidou's mind supplied.

"I'm…." i_rreparable, _but Aidou doesn't believe it.

_"_I'm_...Fuck_." Zero banged his head on the mirror, slowly sliding down the floor. "I'm pathetic."

Aidou was instantly at Zero's side, his arms embracing the shaking and vulnerable form of the hunter. He rocked them both, shushing Zero, repeatedly saying the words, _No, you're not pathetic, you're strong_, _you'll get through this_ over and over and over again and Aidou realized that those words weren't just meant to assure Zero but himself too because god- _his heart clenched tightly, so tight that he couldn't breathe-_ this wasn't the Zero he knew. This wasn't the Zero he hated with a passion before. This wasn't the Zero he came to admire and care for. The man in his arms wasn't Zero Kiryuu. He was simply the broken shell of the man he once was, the broken shell of strong, beautiful, selfless Zero. And it made Aidou ache, ache, _ache_ in every place imaginable. And if a single tear managed to escape the confines of his stubborn eye, then nobody else would have to know because he just wanted….

_He just wanted Zero Kiryuu to come back._

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A/N: I AM A REVIEW WHORE, NUFF SAID. HAHA, K JOKE. Hope you guys liked it. I really dont know where this story is going. It's all feels, no plot. Help me please.

- violetkisses (iloveironman)


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